This is MY life!

There was a song in the charts when I was a young teenager - don't remember the title, but this morning while I sat in bed feeling all hard done to, some of the lyrics flashed through my mind........

"...it's my party and I'll cry if I want to......"

I was feeling sooooooooooo fed up!

I spent my Wedding Anniversary on my own yesterday, my Husband was away on a tour - again! Like he has been for pretty much EVERY Anniversary for the last 18 years.
To make matters "worse" (in my mind, I was feeling fed up remember!) he'd just shot out to work without a kiss or a hug. I felt like I hadn't seen him in days!

Then I heard my friends voice telling me off  (no, I don't think I'm crackers, but I do have conversations with some people in my head!... I choose to think it's my self concious sorting me out! Lol!) and reminding me that, having made my choice, it was up to me how I dealt with the consequences!

.....Don't you just LOVE "smart" friends! Grin! This one is probably my best friend ever, because he NEVER lets me wallow in meloncholy, I always get a kick up the behind from him, even though he's usually working thousands of miles away and we only talk occassionally!

I thought about this revelation for a minute or two. And eventually I had to admit, that he was right (shush, don't ever tell him will you?! He's big headed enough as it is! Lol!) - even though I was enjoying my selfpity, and even though I felt I was pretty justified in feeling that way. it really wasn't helping - was it?!

So, what have I done today instead of my "planned" moping and griping?

Well I started by checking emails and looking on Facebook. There is a game I play there, it involves creating a party in a forest. If you don't visit and clear out the trees regularly it gets all overgrown and you can't see what you have acomplised so far.

Yep,  I can see you're there before me! Grin.

I have been "down in the dumps" for a while about the mess my life, my house and my marriage are in. Sitting about, trawling the net looking for inspiration....and there's lots out there. My biggest problem was..... I just couldn't be bothered!
From where I was sitting, everything just looked so overwhelming, I couldn't decide where to start.

......And then it hit me, as I looked at this game and started chopping down the trees and supplying all the stalls on the screen.
I ALWAYS do it the same way, I start at one side of the entrance to the game and work my way round each little bit, sorting it out as I go. And if I run out of "energy" and have to stop playing until later on in the evening, then I just start right where I left off and keep going.

THAT'S where I start!

I do one thing at a time, and just keep plodding away! And if I "run out of steam" - well I just leave it until tomorrow!

Doh!!!

.....Now WHY didn't I think of that sooner?!
AM

Back with a vengence!

Crikey I'm shattered!

Just before the summer I was offered a job working 1:1 with a young lady being Home Educated. It's only a few hours a week and I can take sprog 3 with me, so I jumped at the chance.

But starting back this week has been a shock to the system! Lol!
I've done 2 mornings so far this week - while DH was off fortunately, so Sprog 3 got to stay home and have some much needed "Daddy time" while I was out.
This afternoon I'm at school doing an afternoons' supply work with a year 2/3 class (year 2 are 6-7 and year 3 are 7-8) - which will be another shock, even though it was "my" age group for 11 years!

Tuesday, my toddler music group started up again - and no, I wasn't prepared! I was planning on starting next week, but everyone started talking about it on facebook and after the 3rd message I thought we'd better get going!

And right now I'm writing on here instead of doing my "homework"! - I'm supposed to be making a schedule chart for work tomorrow, but I'm still thinking on that one!
I have lots of ideas, I've had a whole selection in the classroom - and at home - over the years. I just can't find half my files (we've changed computers, and I really can't be faffed to go through ALL the CD-roms and floppy discs they may be on! Although I did spend an hour last night going through my large selection of pen drives!) and I also can't decide which format will be best!

As a Teacher I used to be decisive - and had loads of resources and ideas at my finger tips due to spending my "free" time on the internet looking at other teachers websites and recycling their ideas.
I haven't done so in a LONG time - and so now, despite the fact that I KNOW I'm more than capable fo doing what I've been asked to do, I find myself feeling as if I'm severly lacking somehow!

Anyone else feel like that?

I'll see you tomorrow for Company Girl coffee - I'm sure I'll be back on form by then, you don't keep a Primary Teacher down for long! Lol!
AM