Well, It's Been A While!

I'm hopeless!
I really am!

I've just been looking through this blog....and I'm about to write the same post as the last one already on here!

Has it REALLY been a YEAR since I last checked in?

Crikey!


I have a friend. A good friend at that. We've known each other for years...DECADES even (yes, I am THAT old!)....since we were silly teenagers in Northern England.
Now he's in the Military, wearing his undies over his tights and saving the world (I swear he thinks his name is actually "Bond"!)
For years he has maintained he has no concept of time. He can disappear for months at a time and then call with a comment that continues a conversation we were having 6 months ago as if we just said "good bye" a few hours ago!
.....I think I'm catching his prowess with the calendar!
Sigh!

ANYWAY (I've lost none of my ability to be long winded you'll see!) .....Now is the time to re-boot this blog and use it for what I intended......which was.....well, I'm not really sure!

Lets see how the year pans out shall we?
I'm planning on being more Organised (ahahahaa!)
I'm planning on sorting out the house (Ahahahahahahahaaa!)
I'm planning on being more "intentional" with the kids...........

I've got a Blog Planner and EVERYTHING!!

.....We'll see shall we?!

Happy New Year!
AM

2012......A New Start??

It's the 4th of January.
The start of a brand new year.
The start of a whole load of possibilities......challenges.......chance to do something .......Different? Better? New?

Or a chance to bury my head and try and ignore everything....AGAIN!

For the sake of MY sanity, let alone anything else (my kids, my marriage....my husband) I think this HAS to be a year of change. Of finding "ME" again. My spirit. My motivation. My "Umph"!

I'm not really feeling anymore positive about things than I was this time LAST year, but yesterday Sprog 2 gave me a note she'd found. When I opened it......well, it saddened me. It was one of the saddest things I've read in a long time.
I can't post the contents just yet - nor even the general gist of what it was about. I need to try to do something about it first.
But it confirmed my thoughts that *I* need to change and "get back on track"

So, one of the things I can do is start finding the good in the day....so here's my first offering. Unfortunately, I only have the camera on my phone at the minute, so the photos are not very clear, but they're good enough to show the joy!

Enjoying a peaceful early morning London!

We Liked the Queen's Christmas Tree!

We smiled nicely, but Paddington wouldn't share his Marmalade Sandwich :-(

Been a while!

Hellllooooooooo! :-)

How have you been?

It's a while since I stopped over here, but I'm planning on changing that in the coming year!
I've started a new blog to document how I'm dragging myself out of the doldrums of mess and into a clean, clear and welcoming home for Christmas 2012. That will need updating each weekend (haven't decided if it will be a Saturday or Sunday evening job yet!) ...so while I'm on Blogger, well, I'm planning on calling in here to call on you all.....well, if you're interested that is! Lol!

So, how was Christmas for you all? we had a lovely peaceful day. All the absent Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents sent cash, so my girls are happy!
We were going to go on a shopping spree today to spend it all (middle daughter has her birthday money to spend as well and having almost a 3 figure sum is finding it burning a hole in her purse so to speak!)....but unfortunately, a "nit" issue has kept us home instead, washing hair and bedding. Sigh!
Still, there's always tomorrow!

AM

This is MY life!

There was a song in the charts when I was a young teenager - don't remember the title, but this morning while I sat in bed feeling all hard done to, some of the lyrics flashed through my mind........

"...it's my party and I'll cry if I want to......"

I was feeling sooooooooooo fed up!

I spent my Wedding Anniversary on my own yesterday, my Husband was away on a tour - again! Like he has been for pretty much EVERY Anniversary for the last 18 years.
To make matters "worse" (in my mind, I was feeling fed up remember!) he'd just shot out to work without a kiss or a hug. I felt like I hadn't seen him in days!

Then I heard my friends voice telling me off  (no, I don't think I'm crackers, but I do have conversations with some people in my head!... I choose to think it's my self concious sorting me out! Lol!) and reminding me that, having made my choice, it was up to me how I dealt with the consequences!

.....Don't you just LOVE "smart" friends! Grin! This one is probably my best friend ever, because he NEVER lets me wallow in meloncholy, I always get a kick up the behind from him, even though he's usually working thousands of miles away and we only talk occassionally!

I thought about this revelation for a minute or two. And eventually I had to admit, that he was right (shush, don't ever tell him will you?! He's big headed enough as it is! Lol!) - even though I was enjoying my selfpity, and even though I felt I was pretty justified in feeling that way. it really wasn't helping - was it?!

So, what have I done today instead of my "planned" moping and griping?

Well I started by checking emails and looking on Facebook. There is a game I play there, it involves creating a party in a forest. If you don't visit and clear out the trees regularly it gets all overgrown and you can't see what you have acomplised so far.

Yep,  I can see you're there before me! Grin.

I have been "down in the dumps" for a while about the mess my life, my house and my marriage are in. Sitting about, trawling the net looking for inspiration....and there's lots out there. My biggest problem was..... I just couldn't be bothered!
From where I was sitting, everything just looked so overwhelming, I couldn't decide where to start.

......And then it hit me, as I looked at this game and started chopping down the trees and supplying all the stalls on the screen.
I ALWAYS do it the same way, I start at one side of the entrance to the game and work my way round each little bit, sorting it out as I go. And if I run out of "energy" and have to stop playing until later on in the evening, then I just start right where I left off and keep going.

THAT'S where I start!

I do one thing at a time, and just keep plodding away! And if I "run out of steam" - well I just leave it until tomorrow!

Doh!!!

.....Now WHY didn't I think of that sooner?!
AM

Past, Present and Future

I've had a funny summer, and things don't seem to be showing any signs of returning to normal just yet!

DH and I have been at odds for a while. Over our house, our way of life, our children, how we both behave to each other.

The list goes on really!

So, I've been doing a lot of soul searching - of the type I haven't really done since college, trying to decide where I'm going - what exactly it is I'm expecting, or even want, out of life.

And I have to say.........

I have NO Idea!

Now is that sad, or is it a wonderful opportunity to branch out in a new direction?!

I guess I'll just have to wait and see!
AM

Loving the weekend!

Good Morning Company Girls! (well, it's actually almost 2pm here.......but I'm running late! Lol!)

Sorry I wasn't about yesterday, Sprog 3 and I took some time out after a hectic week and treated ourselves to lunch at the Garden Centre Cafe (her idea!), but come away in and find a seat..... the kettle's on!

Oh am I glad it's Saturday! DH is away on tour again (he's a coach driver and is having a busy year) so I feel like I've done 10 rounds with who ever is the current Boxing Champ! (I'd have said Mike Tyson, but I'm old!) I've taken the girls to all their activities that have started again - and Oohhhed and Ahhhed over their accomplishments as both Sprog 1 and 2 passed their assessments and moved up a level in their swimming class (they were both non swimmers at Easter) smiled as the Footy Coach commented on how Sprog 2 has grown up over the summer (which was nice of him as he's known her since she was 3 and an absolute whirlwind who couldn't listen or concentrate for more than a nano second!) and congratulated Sprog 1 on an excellent exam result.......achieved 3 years early!

In between I've fitted in a day at school, 3 days with the Home Ed student I'm supporting (don't think she think's I'm very supportive - I gave her some work to do! Lol!) and a lunch date with sprog 3 and DH at Pizza Hut before he went away (which I really should have posted about at the time - it was hilarious!)

Like I said in my last post - I'm shattered! - But it's only a season of my life, as I was reminded by a wise Mum of 4 I talk to on the school playground!

I love this lady, she is always (on the outside at least!) so calm and serene, and I've never heard her say a bad thing about anyone!
I first came accross her when her eldest daughter was in my class four or five years ago. She has 2 younger sons and another daughter, roughly similar ages to my 3, so we have a lot in common!
She is also one of the few parents who actually speaks to me........ I think I scare most of them - especially as some mornings I'm "the Teacher" opening their children's classroom doors!

On Friday we were commenting on how the week has seemed especially stressful now everything is back in full swing - Guides/Scouts/swimming/Music etc. In amongst all the usual parental complaints, she said something that hit me. I had a real lightbulb moment.

"It was so busy this morning and they were all getting at each other that we just had to stop and take a moment to pray that everyone would have a good calm day" she said (hope I've quoted accurately!)

Doh!!!!    Now why didn't I think of that????!!!!!  :-)

Why isn't my Faith strong enough to prod me to do such a thing?

I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm not in that place yet, so it wouldn't have occured to me to do so (and besides, I always feel "funny" asking for something for me!) but I did think, what a lovely way to bring some peace to the morning and get the day off to a better start!

How do other people get things back on an even keel?
I'm going to ponder that and let you know later! :-)
AM

Back with a vengence!

Crikey I'm shattered!

Just before the summer I was offered a job working 1:1 with a young lady being Home Educated. It's only a few hours a week and I can take sprog 3 with me, so I jumped at the chance.

But starting back this week has been a shock to the system! Lol!
I've done 2 mornings so far this week - while DH was off fortunately, so Sprog 3 got to stay home and have some much needed "Daddy time" while I was out.
This afternoon I'm at school doing an afternoons' supply work with a year 2/3 class (year 2 are 6-7 and year 3 are 7-8) - which will be another shock, even though it was "my" age group for 11 years!

Tuesday, my toddler music group started up again - and no, I wasn't prepared! I was planning on starting next week, but everyone started talking about it on facebook and after the 3rd message I thought we'd better get going!

And right now I'm writing on here instead of doing my "homework"! - I'm supposed to be making a schedule chart for work tomorrow, but I'm still thinking on that one!
I have lots of ideas, I've had a whole selection in the classroom - and at home - over the years. I just can't find half my files (we've changed computers, and I really can't be faffed to go through ALL the CD-roms and floppy discs they may be on! Although I did spend an hour last night going through my large selection of pen drives!) and I also can't decide which format will be best!

As a Teacher I used to be decisive - and had loads of resources and ideas at my finger tips due to spending my "free" time on the internet looking at other teachers websites and recycling their ideas.
I haven't done so in a LONG time - and so now, despite the fact that I KNOW I'm more than capable fo doing what I've been asked to do, I find myself feeling as if I'm severly lacking somehow!

Anyone else feel like that?

I'll see you tomorrow for Company Girl coffee - I'm sure I'll be back on form by then, you don't keep a Primary Teacher down for long! Lol!
AM